Saturday, June 9, 2007

A Walking Open Wound, A Trophy Display of Bruises...


This is where I say I've had enough
And no one should ever feel the way that I feel now.
A walking open wound, a trophy display of bruises
And I don't believe that I'm getting any better.
Any better.

Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring
And I'm thinking awful things
I'm pretty sure that few would notice.
And this apartment is starving for an argument.
Anything at all to break the silence.

Wandering this house like I've never wanted out
And this is about as social as I get now.
And I'm throwing away the letters that I am writing you
Cause they would never do, I would never do.
Never

Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring
And I'm thinking awful things
I'm pretty sure that few would notice.
And this apartment is starving for an argument.
Anything at all to break the silence.

So don't be a liar
Don't say that "everything's working" when everything's broken.
And you smile like a saint but you curse like a sailor
And your eyes say the jokes on me.

But, I’m not laughing
You’re not leaving
Who do I think I am kidding?
When I’m the only one locked in this cell

Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring
And I'm thinking awful things
I'm pretty sure that few would notice.
And this apartment is starving for an argument.
Anything at all to break the silence.

So don't be a liar
Don't say that "everything's working" when everything's broken.
And you smile like a saint but you curse like a sailor
And your eyes say the jokes on me.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

The Sound of The Stereo, The Dim of the Soft Lights

I was rummaging through some Dashboard Confessional articles, posts, and other whatnot vitals and suddenly came across a beautiful story written by someone explaining what DC meant for him. A very moving story and a life that has been affected by something more than sounds, something more than music, but by the essence and meaning of each casted note and each pronounced lyric.

Here's the story:

"On April 27th 2005, I traveled to see Dashboard Confessional. Approximately one month removed from what was the most meaningful relationship I’ve ever had with a girlfriend had ended. Life took an unexpected turn, and here I was driving along I-190 in Upstate NY to follow through with plans and wishes that I had with that significant other. Driving along the quaint houses of Brockport and arriving to the venue, I braced myself for what was going to be a difficult night to get through. I was on my own for this trip and singing along to the same songs that I lied in bed with my girlfriend with tears in my eyes, I made it through the show. It was the first time in a long time of realizing that I was on my own. It was a hard pill to swallow and the drive back made me just want to reach home faster.

However, there was a moment where I thought I wasn’t going to get that chance…

I cried, I cried a lot, to the point where I was blinded with tears and I did everything I can to stay focus on the road, I put whatever I had on the CD player at the time, and cranked up the volume while I kept driving. I was driving fast, probably because I didn’t care since I just wanted the tears to stop. The ‘Best Deceptions’ came on the radio and with every guitar riff and every heartfelt lyric, it stopped me dead…I pulled over to the side of the road and really listened to that song and what it meant to me. There haven’t been to many moments in my life where something compelled me to stand still but for those 4 minutes on the side of the highway, I felt that was the moment that was going to change everything, the way I was feeling, and the way that I felt about my life.
“I’m waiting for blood to flow to my fingers; I’ll be alright when my hands get warm.”
Those words made me feel as if it wasn’t the end of the world and from that moment on, every time I’ve listened to that song, it reminds me that for those 4 minutes, I never felt alone.
I think that’s why I’ve loved this band for so many years. During that time, there have been more scars then I care to count when it comes to relationships.
For most people, they just see it as music, but to me, I’ve always felt that the ‘Best Deceptions’ song saved my life. It helped me become a stronger person in the face of adversity.

I recently experienced one of those moments that made me buckle at my knees.
Sitting in my car, and listening to someone say that they don’t love you anymore, and that the feelings they once had is dead is still hard to get through. As I get older, it doesn’t get any easier but I know what I can do to get through it.

I’ve learned that people can come and go in your life and in the last twenty two years there have been moments that I consider the best times of my life. They were the times where everything just made sense and I understand why things happen for a reason.
I think about that night in Brockport as a reminder that life gets better.
It can be messed up at times, but you’ll survive and with the latest breakup I can be assured that I’ll be alright.

Music can carry a different interpretation to many people, but Dashboard Confessional is one of those bands where I know will never leave me. It’s comforting, it’s assuring, and when it comes to live concerts, I know that when I see Chris Carrabba play live, it brings a newfound sense of clarity. After seeing them play 25 concerts, I can honestly say that there have been 25 days of my life that just made sense. When I listen to Dashboard, I don’t feel as alone and that’s what helps me during those times when the single life can get me down at times.

What this band means to me is something that few people can ever understand. I’ve experienced the highest of highs as well as the lowest of lows, but throughout it all, I wouldn’t have traded anything in the world if it meant that I would be able to just sing my heart out and leave everything that is holding me down at a show. To know that there is someone in that room who can relate to the same feelings and emotions that is expressed on that stage by a guy with an acoustic guitar and heartfelt lyrics makes me feel that I’m not as alone as I think I am."

Timeless.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Forever Seems Only Further

This is the essay I wrote that got featured in the school website a few years ago. I am afraid that they might clear their archives, so I had to upload it here. Good stuff.

Forever Seems Only Further


Breathe in for luck, breathe in so deep. This air is blessed, you share with
me .”

How often could one find music that somewhat truly captured one’s feelings? Only a few musical artists could touch a person’s heart and make one cry inside one way or another. Chris Carrabba, whose solo career is more popularly known as “Dashboard Confessional,” has been one of the artists whose careers are rapidly rising in the music scene these past few years because of his deeply, heart-felt lyrics and his emo-acoustic type of music.

You are the outline, of everything you would become .”

A few years back, Chris belonged to a hard-rock Christian band called “Further Seems Forever." Even then, Chris already stood out from the band for becoming the lyricist and the vocalist. His emotional singing and meaningful lyrics came as a great commodity for the band. Unfortunately, after creating only one album and touring with the band for quite a bit, Chris kind of got weary of rocking it out with the band. Some say that he was never able to blend in with the band maybe because of internal disagreements. Nonetheless, he quit the band and created his own solo career, Dashboard Confessional, which is a far cry from his once hard-rock background.

There’s not a word that I comprehend, except when it’s signed that I will love you always, and forever.

As Chris grew up, his mom would put him in front of the television with “MTV” on and say to him that he would be the one performing on television one day. He did grow up playing his guitar and writing his own songs, but judging from how he grew up, one would never think he would make it big in the music industry one day. Ironically, what Chris was heartbroken about was the one that launched him high above. He had a rocky love-life. One would definitely be able to see how depressed and heartbroken he felt in almost all the relationships he has had based on his writings. He based his lyrics on his unsuccessful campaign on romance and wrote about it in a very distinct, detailed, poetic, story-telling manner that would make the listener relate to what he went through. In his song The Brilliant Dance, he sings “ And the plaster dented from your fist in the hall where you had your first kiss, reminds you that the memories will fade .” It tells of a hall where the wall has been dented from his fist; he probably punched the wall in anger, reminiscing the moments he had. Within moments of listening to the song, the listener would feel for him and join him in his painful experiences. Although it would seem like a sad plan to listen to Chris Carrabba’s songs, the listener would actually feel great after the heart-felt moment rather than feel awful after the song because Chris would always have a certain touch to his songs.

Turning to you is like falling in love when you’re ten .”

Touching hearts with such poetic writing and such emotional singing, Chris has truly made a stand in the music industry. Chris Carrabba is definitely a unique musical performer and is worthy to be called a musical artist.

Originally posted: March 13, 2005 at http://web.xs.edu.ph/issues/2005-Mar-17/xscorner/Forever.php

We All Look Like We Feel

Criticism has been arising for the once, and still is in many of the fans' hearts, "emo-king" Christopher Carrabba for "selling out" due to his evolution from indie to mainstream, most notably when the song 'Vindicated' came out of the sound track of 'Spider-Man 2'. It's preposterous to turn one's back on a band because they are making substantial progress in terms of exposure and worldwide recognition. The ones who lose interest because of such ignorant reasons are the ones selling-out, they are the ones who are jumping off the boat, good riddance.

For the long-time fans; especially from the Swiss Army Romance all the way to Dusk and Summer, it is hard not to be happy for Chris and his achievements. His recognition has been a long-time coming, and it is great to know that Dashboard Confessional is going stronger than ever, for years to come.

"If we lose fans because kids just genuinely don't like the record I made, if that's the case, I'm sorry to see you go, but that's a real honorable way to turn your back on a band. I can understand if I didn't come through for you personally, if you prefer the other records. I'm sorry that you didn't like it. I like it. It's what I needed to do. I could not be prouder of this record. And if you hate it solely because it's popular, then that's not my problem."

Congratulations Chris.